l0vej0urney89's Datingish

above it all.

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 04:08:58 GMT

above all else, there is love. i believe in this and as far as i am aware i have done my very best to live by it. anything that may enter into my life, i put love above it. if that means that i have lost some friendships along the way due to it, so be it. right now, i am laying on my bed with laptop in front of me...what does that have to do with love? easy. my husband is playing video games with his head resting on my lower back. this, is a clean and clear example as to why i am so deeply in love with him. other guys that i have been with either are obsessed with SEX or are just plain out rude and ignore me completely. however, my dear J, even when he is playing video games lets me know that i am loved. does he do it out of habit or because he is actually attempting to let me know he loves me? i have questioned him on this and not once has he even thought about anything straying away from the fact that he just adores me and its the contact with me that makes him feel close to me. this, is how i know i am needed. i am wanted and very much loved. the little things that make me put love above all else.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:39:57 GMT

i don't know what your doing and i don't know where you are but i look up at that great big sky and i hope you're wishing on that same bright star. i wonder. i pray. i sleep alone and i cry alone and it's so hard living here all alone. so please, come home soon. i know that we're together even though we're far apart. and i wear my lucky necklace around my neck pressed to my heart. i imagine your touch, it's beautifulness and something that means so much. sometimes love needs a fighting chance so i'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance. so please, i walk alone, i try alone, and i'll wait for you, come home soon.<3

Quote

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:38:54 GMT

''Because she is my heroin, my own personal crack cocaine. Because trying to say that I can get away from this will just be wasting time and lying to myself. Because she is my foil, the one who proved that, in the end, the geeky guy can still get the girl he always liked. Because she is my kryptonite, and that's probably why her eyes are so fucking green. But mainly, because I love her.''- Jose Miguel Urena

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:37:17 GMT

Theres nothing I can say to you,
nothing I could ever do,
to make you see,
what you mean to me,
all the pain the tears I cried,
still you never said goodbye,
and now I know,
how far you'd go.
I know I let you down,
but its not like that now,
this time I'll never let you go.
I will be all that you want,
and get myself together,
cause you keep me from falling apart.
All my life
I'll be with you forever,
to get you through the day,
and make everything okay.
I thought that I had everything,
I didn't know what life could bring,
but now I see,
honestly.
You're the one thing I got right,
the only one I let inside,
now I cant breathe,
cause you're here with me.
And if I let you down,
I'll turn it all around,
cause I would never let you go.
Without you,
I can't breathe,
I'm never ever gunna let you leave,
You're all I got.
You're all I want.
Without you,
I don't know what I'd do
I could never live a day without you,
here,
with me,
do you see,
you're all I need.

reconnect

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:33:12 GMT

he's sexier and more beautiful than ever. his brown eyes gleam when he looks at me. i love it. i love him.
his lips are softer than i had imagined that they would be. hes also taller than i remember ;)
he teases me of being short. thing is, i love it! he tickles me and cant keep that smile off his handsome face.
staring contest? psh, i win. just because he will let me.

he called to say the cab got lost. there was wind blowing in the background as if he were in a tornado.
i stepped out back to feel the wind blowing as it was on the phone. i ran inside knowing that regardless what he said,
he would be here momentarily. i sprinted to the front door and looked through the glass only to see him walking up my driveway.
as if i werent shaking enough before, i began to tremble uncontrollably at the sight of him.
i grasped the door knob and attempted to turn it...it took 3 tries before my hand was steady enough to turn it all the way.
i stepped outside and almost immediately into his arms. So This Is What Heaven Feels Like. he noticed my shaking,
how could he not? besides that and the fact that no words came from my mouth except ''Oh My God''
i think he got the hint that i was happy/nervous/excited/every friggin emotion...EVER!
the embrace was unrecordable the kiss was bliss. the only thing going through my mind was: hes home.
hes home. oh my God, hes home. hes holding me. hes kissing me. i was literally going moment to moment.

Stars Speak

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:32:23 GMT

the stars have a way of making me think about life, about you. i stare into the uncountable and try over and over hoping one day i will be able to. hoping for a hint of this unmeasurable mass of twinkling twilight. now, you think of me when you look as well which makes my looking become really seeing. i miss you. i love you. look on with me tonight. <3

A Husband

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:31:45 GMT

     I pace the road on which I live only to find myself truly alone. It's here, the edge of my driveway, where I stare at the spot where we once layed under the stars and invisible moon only to cry these invisible tears. I step forward and the vision only becomes more clear to me. The touch of your hand passing through my hair, brushing against my cheek and back again. I lay once more in that exact spot trying to let my imagination get the best of me. I sit up and realize that you already have. You have all of me; for I am yours, for the taken. I gave you my all on the day we said "I Do." For it's only now that I realize no matter how far apart we may physically be, you always have my heart with yours.

    For a husband is someone who didn't take your heart but instead waited patiently until you were ready to give it to them. A human with the patience to deal with the downs because in his heart he knows that with the morning comes the joy. A heart that is devoted and a mind that is ever-clear when you're ready to brake down. A husband is a man who lends his shoulder to his sobbing wife and knows that hers is ready if he is ever to need it. He loves without holding back and holds no emotion in. He's a rock, a steadfast truthful man with nothing but the best for you in his giant heart. He sees no flaws in the woman that he loves and if he does he forgives her for having them. He's a consoler and brings you back up whenever you're feeling low.

It took this moment. This second of clarifying, tearful joy to realize that he is all of this for me.
And above all else, he is my Husband.

Life<3

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:29:50 GMT

Life...with a capital "L"

Here we are my readers:
My life at this present time is a roller coaster. It's an incredible feeling to be over 3,000 miles away from everything that you were forced to figure out on your own. 3,000 miles away from your parents. No curfew, no consequences, sex all the time (OH BABY!) and no "getting in trouble" for not doing your chores. I'm 3,000 miles away with the love of my life with nothing to stop us...
except, as many of you already know my husband is in the Navy.

Currently there is a situation going on in which both of us have become tense and stressed out beyond comparison. I just can't seem to make him okay (ALL OF THE TIME). Sometimes, yes, I can. However, there are other times when I can't and that fact on it's own stresses me out.

---Home Is Where The Heart Is---

I fully believe that and so, He; being the owner of my beloved heart, is where my home will always be. Back to North Carolina? Hell No! Not without him by my side to make the journey. Now, I pass the question over to him to respond.

The Dilemma?

Here, see for yourself:

Me: "So, babe...have you thought about it? What exactly do you want to do?"
He: "I don't know yet."

END OF CONVERSATION.

As you all know, I am fully the "planning" type and to not be able to plan...Grr.

Okay, I have to finish this up but I will say, I will fill everyone in with more. As for now though?
I have to go talk and make love to my husband, Again ;)

LIFE ROCKS!

Spark (pt. 1)

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:26:17 GMT

The instrumentals played in the background reminding her of her past. The remembrance of times of knowing, times when she was the one who was known. No mystery, no false behaviors. Tears never touched her emerald eyes.

And then they did...

They flooded and she drowned in them. Mystery? No. What was, the aura around her was not mystery in itself. The aura she had which made a certain man stop breathing with her presence, was sadness within herself. The knowledge of not knowing made it seem to be mystery to him. She had been hurt not long before and her wounds were still fresh. She could still taste the blood.

The guilt of being the girl who feed everyone a lie entrapped her. No where to run, no where to retreat, except back into the hole which was herself.

Every night she lay awake wondering how to break through the wall that she had created to show her true self to at least one single person.

***

His hair was raven, his eyes of sparkle chocolate in color searched through her and touched her once scornful soul. Every day he found her in the same stance, a barbie-like smile plastered upon her face. Fake until she saw him. He noticed her , to say the least.

***

They were going to take him away from her, he was going to be forced to leave. The one human being that understood the pain, agony, frustration and even the faint taste of blood. "How?" she wondered, "How can I let him walk away never knowing the truth? He has to know."

***

Six foot one inch tall he stood. A mock turtleneck and jeans of the darkest black upon his toned body, steel-toed boots to match. Glasses of the darkest shade and a jacket to tie everything together. Her mouth dropped open to see him walking her way. She could count the footsteps between them. Twenty six...eighteen...seven...
everything blurred...three...he came back into focus one footstep from her. His arms wrapped warmly around her lower back, and then his lips tasted hers for the first time.

Passion.

He had been the one able to break through the wall that she had put up. He was so smooth about it, it was as if he has walked up to it and a door appeared in his presence. He took the wall down from the inside out, just the way it had to be done.

***